Demi (Orientation)

Demi (Orientation)

Demi- (orientation), LGBTQ-alphabet

The prefix Demi- describes someone who only feels attraction after forming a deep emotional bond with another person. The word comes from the English word “half,” meaning that attraction doesn’t happen right away but needs a strong connection first. This can apply to different types of attraction, like romantic, platonic, or sexual. The time it takes for a demi person to feel attraction depends on the situation; sometimes it can take days, but other times it may take months or even years. For many demi people, if the emotional bond is broken, their attraction might fade too.

Lila never understood how her friends could fall for people they had just met. While her classmates talked about crushes or love at first sight, Lila couldn’t relate. “How can you feel that way about someone you barely know?” she often wondered. For Lila, attraction only came after she really got to know someone and felt close to them emotionally.

One day, her friend Zoe mentioned being demisexual during a conversation about relationships. She explained, “It means I only feel attraction if I have a deep emotional connection with someone.” Lila’s eyes lit up. “That’s exactly how I feel!” she said. Finally, she had a word for her experience.

A few months later, Lila realized she was starting to feel romantic attraction toward her close friend Jonah. It made sense to her now; she had built a strong bond with him over time, and that connection sparked her feelings. Lila explained to Jonah, “I’m demi, which means it takes me a while to feel attraction, but it’s because I really care about you.”

For Lila, understanding her Demi- identity brought peace and made it easier to explain her feelings. It helped her build relationships that were based on trust and emotional closeness, which mattered most to her.

Demi orientations

History

The term “demisexual” was first coined by AVEN user sonofzeal on February 9, 2006. It originated from a response to a discussion by AVEN user Rabger, who suggested separating sexual attraction into primary (physical) and secondary (emotional) categories. Demisexual individuals, according to this concept, only experience sexual attraction after establishing an emotional bond with someone.

Misconceptions

Demisexuality is frequently misunderstood as being synonymous with celibacy or sexual abstinence, where one voluntarily refrains from sexual activity for religious, legal, or personal reasons. However, demisexuality is an involuntary orientation and part of an individual’s identity, whereas celibacy and abstinence are conscious choices. Unlike celibate individuals who may still feel sexual attraction but choose not to act on it, demisexuals do not experience sexual attraction until specific emotional conditions are met.

Another common misconception is that demisexuals are simply “picky” or overly selective. While selective behavior involves choosing partners based on various criteria, demisexuals may turn down potential partners solely because they do not feel the necessary emotional connection that triggers attraction.

There is also a belief that demisexuals have inherently low libidos. Although sexual attraction can influence libido, various factors such as lifestyle, medication, stress, and overall health play significant roles. Demisexuals, like others, can have high, low, or fluctuating libidos based on circumstances and well-being.

Some people assume that demisexuals will automatically develop sexual attraction when an emotional bond is formed. However, as with any orientation, demisexuality is a pattern, not a rule. For instance, a heterosexual person is not attracted to every individual of the opposite gender, and similarly, a demisexual person may not feel attraction toward every individual with whom they share an emotional bond.

Lastly, it is sometimes assumed that demisexuals do not engage in sexual activity before forming attraction. While many demisexuals may prefer to wait, it is not a strict requirement, as desire for sexual activity can exist without the presence of attraction (related to cupiosexuality).

Vlag

Demi (Orientation)

Sources

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Source

https://new.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/demi_%28orientation%29

Read more about: Demi- (orientation), LGBTQ-alphabet